Food

When the others heard it's my birthday soon, they said I should throw a party. With a lot of drinks and food. I don't know about that. I don't mind the party itself, but I don't get the rest. For example, why food? I don't eat myself. I'm an avatar, and as far as I know, avatars don't eat.

Mia once told me about eating. She was hungry, she said, and when humans are, they eat. At that time, she was going to have a sandwich. This took some explaining, but I think I got it. You plow a field, where you plant trees, and after a long time you have grains, which you, after turning them into powder and putting them and some small mushrooms into water, shove into a fire. Then you milk a cow, and stir the milk a lot, and spread the milk on the fired grains. Finally, you kill the cow, and put a slice of it on top of the rest. There's your sandwich.

Doing a thing like that is so typically human. They seem to do a lot of pointless things, and do it for long, long times. Like watching us avatars. They just can't stop. Now, that fits well with Mia in general. Another thing she told me is that she has a compulsive obsession disorder. Which is, well, like being unstoppable. I don't know why she has it, because she doesn't seem to like it. On the other hand, if it's compulsive, then you have to play along. I'll make you an example of how it works. If Mia wants to have peanut butter on her sandwich (then she needs to plow another field, and plant another tree to get peanuts, and milk the cow and stir and mix it all into a jar [but the cow may live]), she has to take the lid off the jar before she can get the peanut butter out. But when she has taken the lid off, she doesn't belive it's off. So she has to put it back on, so that she can take it off. Having done that, she don't think that the lid is off, so it has to go back on again, to be taken off again. And so it goes on. Making that sandwhich takes a very long time. I think that may be why she usually slaughters a cow when she's hungry.

I've never eaten a cow, or a peanut butter. I've never eaten anything. I have been drinking, though, a couple of times. The other avatars talk a lot about drinking, so I tried it. It was okay, until I fell over, just like that. The others laughed, and later said it was a scripted drink. I was meant to fall. Well, if that's the reason, then I'd prefer an unscripted one next time.

But I have noticed that the others like it when you have been drinking, and when you tell them about what you did after drinking. They laugh and like you a lot. I tried it, and told them that after drinking and falling that one time, I went to the mall shopping. But I found nothing that I liked, so I didn't buy anything.

No laughs. Nothing. Silence.

Later, after listening to the others, I figured out that the thing that makes the others laugh is when telling about making a fool of yourself after drinking, or doing strange things, or wild things. Which I didn't do, as I've already said. To make them like me, I had to make a story up. I had to lie about doing crazy things.

"i drank again, and fell over again and again", I lied.

Laughs.

"i fell in a mudhole and got sooo dirty, so i took all my clothes off, in the middle of the street"

Laughs. Liking.

"someone called the police, and they came to look for me, so i had to hide in an alley for hours"

Laughs. Liking. Friends.

"when i was hiding, a stray dog came into the alley, and i gave it peanut butter and then had sex with it"

They say drinking is a good way to make friends, but I think I lost some that day. Strangely, I keep losing friends all the time, even when I try hard to be a good friend to them. They are lolling me and hunning me until I open my mouth to take part in the fun, and then they turn silent. I'm not getting something here. Do I have to pay them?