Thursday 28 August 2008

Days

I'm not very good at the counting yet, but I've acquired certain skills in comparing figures. I've learnt how they look, and which finger they are. There's one figure for each finger of the hand, except for the last finger, which has two figures. There is also one figure that doesn't have a finger. That one is round. Now, the more to the left the finger, the more it's worth, for example in lindens. Many figures also make up many lindens, but that is counting, which I'm, as I've already said, not very good at.

They showed me, by pointing out in my diary, that the same days keep coming back. It's always a different year (which is a very large number of days), but the same day. Although the same things don't happen again and again. It's a new day, but it's called the same.

For example, last time it was this day, I said the following in my diary:

So I like the sanctuary [the Sanctuary Rock]. I don't like the guy who came there last time, though. He just stepped up to me, babied me, lolled me, and hunned me a lot. And when I didn't want to dance with him, he got angry and sarcastic. Come on, I had never met him before, and I didn't like his ways, and I was already having fun dancing. He had no right to get angry. As if he owned a right to make me do something else, just because he wanted me to. No, I don't like him.

Ok, I didn't like him, but I'm in the sanctuary right now, looking to see if he will be here, too. As it is the same day.

Wednesday 20 August 2008

Music

"dear diary,

you know, when i first joined the band that was later to become known, although not widely so, as the sheep people, i claimed to know how to play the guitar. i do, a little. very little. which the guys figured out in an instant, and told me it was too little. i was welcome to sing, but not to do the guitar.

now it has become evident that sheared sheep, who does the lead guitar, can't really play either. he's worse than me. and eating sheep, who's on bass guitar, can't play bass guitar. he has no clue. they only pretended they could. or maybe they were hoping that they all of a sudden would know how to. anyhow, i figured this out, and it explains why the guys have spent most of the rehearsal time not rehearsing, but talking, arguing, designing costumes, ordering pizza and so on.

whenever i have asked them to come up with a riff or an idea or whatever to work from, they've evaded doing so. pretending not to have heard me. or tuning the guitar. poking the amplifier as wasn't it working alright. not finding a cord to connect to the amp. things like that. then, when i've told them to use their voices instead, to work around the apparent technical problems, they have refused. i've heard them sing (in falsettos) when i've been out of sight, but as soon as i show up, they quit. they won't sing in front of a girl, obviously. eating sheep won't even eat his slice of pizza in front of me. they are scared of me, or maybe of what i represent. they complain a lot about each other, but never about what i do. not one word has been raised in opposition to the lyrics i've written. they've just said 'yeah, great!' and that's it. i actually think they may mean it, too, they may really like it, because the lyrics are probably hotter than they themselves would ever produce. at least in front of me. they like phrases such as 'i touched the king', 'a thousand lips kissing me', 'i'll be sweet to you' and 'you have me, me, me', because they think the lyrics have a lusty backdrop of yearning and desire, and it's pretty sheep singing it, and she's in their band. they like the idea of being in such a band.

now, back to the riffs. the only time sheared sheep and eating sheep played more than single notes was when toying with running sheep's keyboard. so, finally it struck me that they don't really play the guitar or the bass at all. they never did. they too play keyboards. but they liked the idea of a band with guitars and stuff better than a band with only keyboards. maybe because they don't know how nerdy they really are.

having realized this, and realizing there is just one way to make this band play, i told them all to bring their keyboard stuff for next rehearsal, which was today, expecting them to bring, well, like a laptop and maybe a little plastic mini keyboard each. you know, hi-tech electronic instruments. but what they brought was a junkyard. synthesizers the size of aircraft carriers. racks of synthesizers, sound effects, samplers, and modules. stands full of mother keyboards, monophonic analog synths and organs. most of these things probably went out of production in 1990, no later. and it took them hours to get it all up and running.

then came what i had not anticipated. the choosing the sounds.

those synthesizers may have at least a couple of hundred preset sounds, i'd say. then, when you have three nerds, each one with at least three synths, and the option of programming new sounds yourself, there is a lot of nerve-shattering waiting to be done before the actual playing can begin. the discussing costumes had been nothing in comparison. nothing. but it did end, it really did, and there was music in the air. finally. although poor music, to be frank. these guys are nerds, not musicians.

but, you know, you should take what you have, and make the best out of it. i think i will use my power as pretty sheep to shape this sheep people into a band that works allright anyhow. basic, simple music. with lots of keyboards. punky nerd music. purd music? well, it may work. i've already told them that with all those synthesizers, they should dress in all black. they liked that. so i'm winning them over.

i'm not going to tell the guys what the lyrics are really about. it's not what they think. not at all. it's not hot at all.

mia"

Tuesday 12 August 2008

Excluded

To be absolutely honest, it doesn't really matter any more whether I lose (which I do a lot) or win (rarely) events. They have become less important. I sometimes don't bother to join the events at all, if I don't feel like it, and sometimes do my best to dress etc according to the theme, for the fun of it. But the main reason now for going to the clubs is to listen to the music and to hang around with the others. I was actually surprised when I won a Disney event the other day, having dressed as a latex interpretation of Bagheera. It's nice to get the votes, but, well, it's not important any more. I still don't feel ok with the tie me up events, but whenever there's one of those going on, I can go somewhere else for a while.

When speaking this diary entry, I'm in the tower in Virtual Africa. I think I just saw a lion moving far away, so I'll go there and have a closer look.

No, it was the leopard that looks like a jaguar. I found the lion, too, but it hadn't moved since last time I was here. So maybe it can't move. Well, it's an object. If it was an avatar, it could have moved about and even TP'd to other places, scaring the wits out of everyone.

I have been thinking of love. I spoke about that some time ago, too, and nothing has really changed from my perspective. I have been thinking about it, though, noticing how other avs, usually a girl and a guy, seem to team up in pairs, and even have weddings to become partners. It could be fun having a partner, to have a companion around. If it's a nice one, I mean. I still don't get the other part of it, the love, of which I know litte. Or rather nothing. They say it's like feeling for and with someone. Maybe a little bit like it's for me with Mia. But she is a human, and she's not real, is she, because I invented her. But I can feel so close to her at times. Sometimes she's just a nuisance, of course. Now, I haven't met any guys that I feel anything like that for, or girls either, for that matter. Obviously none of the others have felt like that for me, either, as they haven't asked me to marry them. Which doesn't really surprise me. I'm not very interesting and fun. I can't make witty conversation, and I generally have little to add, say or shout. Why choose me? I think I look a little bit pretty, but, well, anyone can buy looks in SL. I don't mind the not being partnered, not knowing or desiring what it is like being so. What I do mind is being excluded.

If I want to be included, or at least have the choice to be in or out, I shouldn't hang around here in Africa, where I can't see a soul around. I don't really want to partner an object warthog, you know. So I'll go somewhere else, and see if there is any fun going on.

Sunday 3 August 2008

Accidents

Ha ha, I can picture Mia, a little version of me, uniformed in pink together with a couple of nerd guys, doing a sheep dance.

There has been a houshold accident event. I didn't win, but I got really hurt to enter. The others did, too, so it turned out quite a messy event. I was thinking of getting hit by lightning, which might have been a winner. But I hadn't got a battery in my inventory.