Soul

"dear diary,

is this just the wine or is it some subconscious little system from deep within speaking to me? i'd go for the latter. at least if i was that stupid little incarnation serval, ha ha. and what about me? well, i'll go with her. this time only.

the thing is, the thing is i'm in doubt. i look at those around me. all merry and alive, probably nice people, too. i invest some of my time in them. but i don't really think i get much back.

hey, and what about my soul? wouldn't that help? oh, i won't invest my soul, not for starters, because that would drive them away. running, screaming, burning themselves at the stake. but i could invest some spirit, probably, and have some of that in return, too. wouldn't that be a nice way of spending some time? soul-less spirit, and out comes a laugh, maybe. so why don't i?

hey, i think i have the answer to that one. i don't want to.

what i want, what i really want, says my little subconscious system, is to howl and blubber my heart out. my bloody soul. and from what i've seen, those around won't really care, won't listen, won't, won't, won't. like it.

so, my point is, maybe i shouldn't be going there to see them anymore. it's the place for spirits, not for souls. it doesn't make me happy. which is what i need, says my little system. but to be truthful, so bloody truthful, it just makes me very sad.

mia"