"dear diary,
going away for christmas isn't a bad thing, really. shutting down next life for a couple of days does you good. adds some perspective. and gives you a breather. that's when to make your decisions, isn't it, when not busy in the middle of it.
the second world isn't my life. obviously. i survived being away. but it's not just that way. it's the other way round, too. sitting with some distant relatives that i hardly know recently, listening to them, trying to muster some interest in them but failing, i felt next life to be much more for real. my mind wandering off there, thinking of the atmosphere, friends, clubs, places. i missed it a little. and thought about what to do when going there again.
some guys have been interested in serval recently. to varying extent. and because serval and i are a team, it affects me, too. it's a nice thing, though, the interest thing, and at the same time not so nice, because i had been hoping that the next life would open for news ways to think and behave, and that trying things differently would be an obvious choice for many. not least when it comes to relationships, dating, courting and all that. but it seems to work mainly like here in the real world.
strangely, it surprises me a little. it shouldn't.
i didn't come to second world to reflect my first world self. or to reflect something else, either, because that would have been just another aspect of that real world self. i came to the second world without a purpose.
but real me inevitably affects what i do in the second world. serval may think that she's running the show, but really, really, me is in her every move and word.
so i'm just like the others. bringing my normal self, and behaving accordingly.
mia"
