Toddy

The angel told me she was gonna go jetlagging, too, like all the others, and that means I'm gonna sleep for a day or two or three. Fine with me. Who cares. From my experience, sleeping a day or a million makes no difference. It feels exactly the same.

"Marry Chris must", she said, the angel. I dunno if that means she's already had some of the toddy, because that didn't come out right, did it? "Must marry Chris!" seems more like it, but hey, that sounds more than a little desperate to me. Don't jetlag home and marry that chap (who's completely unheard of up until now) just because of desperation, pls. Like, because of urges. Because of some momentary attraction just because he can do the trick (unless he has too much toddy). You know, angel, you've got that nice little buzzing object. Oh yes, you have. It can't only save you the desperation, but also saves you a lot of marrying. No more toddy until you're done, do you hear me. Forget about Chris. You don't really want him. Trade him for an extra set of batteries.

And I, I find myself in this place with all these pretty lights. I think I'm gonna stay up and celebrate this jetlag holiday, too, and do it right here. I'm afraid I don't have any toddy, though. But I've got a jug of beer, martinis, red wine and a green bottle of shampooigne in my inventory. This is gonna be some holiday!

Interacting

"oki, serval, i'm onto your case. sweet dreams. i've checked some 2,500 skins so far.

i see what you mean about the black hole eyes. you get to a certain amount of blackness, and there come the tearmarks. inevitably. imagine going to the police because something that you witnessed. imagine interacting with the identikit officer.

me: she had more eye makeup.

officer: okay. like this?

me: even more.

officer: more? okay, here we go.

me: no. no tearmarks.

officer: what? come on, she had tearmarks allright.

me: no, she hadn't.

officer: are you sure?

me: yes, i'm sure.

officer: i don't really believe you.

me: well, she had no tearmarks.

officer: okay, okay. but she had a couple of scars, hadn't she?

me: no.

officer: a bullet hole in her forehead?

me: no.

officer: now ... did you really see her?

e."

Slime

There's been a lot of invisible slime the last few times I've been awake. I suppose it's because everyone is travelling all at once, going home for Chris Must. That means a lot of jet lag, which spreads throughout the world. I think that's why all those people met in Copencobana the other day, to discuss what to do with all the bad things those jets do to us. Only, they hadn't been told why they were meeting, so it all came to nothing. Too bad I wasn't ejected for the E–you, or I would have been there, too, to put it all straight to them. No more slime! That's what I'd have told them. I've heard that there were 14,000 of them. And they failed to understand about the slime. Shows you what kind of bosses that got ejected, eh. Not even this Ohbanana guy got it. They celebrated him no end in a tonne of wash when he was ejected, hoping he'd fix everything, bur obviously he doesn't do jets. So it's still really, really slimy, which I don't like, as I'm shopping for skins. Btw, why do they sometimes put only three or so of their ten or so skins in the demo kit? The one I'm interested in is never in those three. The shop owner probably thinks I'm gonna like no 1, 2 and 3 so much that I'll buy no 9. Clever enough. First do that, then go eject some mr Omguava to represent you in the parlourmeant of the E-theeots.

Wow, the slime i sooo bad. Damn you, all 14,000 of you! Can't stand this. Emmi, please go to Xstreet instead and let me sleep!

Oops

I've had a revelation. Omg, it's massiv scale. I had it just about the same moment I was standing in this shop looking at the Black Hole Eyes of my dreams. Well, maybe not of my dreams, but not a bad skin at all, for being black hole typish. And as to the order of events, it was actually revelation first, then Black Hole Eyes right away. And the actual revelation was that I'd better start looking for a different kind of skin, because I've fallen half in love with a different kind of makeup. I don't really want the black holes any more. Oops. So I'd better go look again. Start all over again.

Before doing so I'd like to conclude. Because I have been around a lot looking for this skin. And I've seen stuff doing so. Oh, you can't even imagine the horrors. So these are questions to shop owners, designers et al. That is, the kind of people that would like me to buy their stuff.

Why put lots of demo skins in a pack that needs rezzing somewhere else? You want me to leave your shop? Why use vendors that I have to learn, which is so boring that I soon quit trying? Why not just use simple boards? Why use vendors that don't clearly name the different skins, so that I can identify the skins in the demo pack without trying all 28 demos in your laggy shop?
Why expect me to pay to try a demo of your skins? When I see the L1 tag, it means poor skin that can't be sold but has to earn some money anyhow. But most of all, why oh why can't skin designers stop once they have made a set of really black eyes? Why this urge to continue, to add tearmarks, bruises, scratchmarks, wounds, barbed wires, bullet holes and whatnot?

Oh, I know, I have said the above before. I guess those people don't listen to my diary. Probably because I don't buy their stuff.

Eerie

Or maybe a mystery? There was a murder? Nooo, something much scarier had happened. Ears had disappeared. Tails had been found missing. Cats were nowhere to be seen. Eerie. Then ... a sudden shriek.

Or maybe there is a lady living all alone. With 37 cats. She's so eccentric. And exotic. She's said to be mad. Others say she's a witch. Others say she does sudden shrieks. She's so eerie. And yet, she's the only one who knows about the secret teleport to First Life. So I have to go to see her.

Or maybe I have found out that the horrid little man isn't a man at all, but a vampire. He's called Doolb Slavres Kcus. He made it up himself. The name. It defines him. He's eerie. He has stolen my ears and my tail, and done horrible things to them. Unspeakable things. I want them, and he's waiting out there. All I have is my wooden stake.



Dunno if this is the kind of stuff Eddiethor wants for the mag. But I'll talk to him. They are good ideas.

Planning

I resigned myself to my fate. That's what I did. I didn't particularly like it, you know, going to the North Pole and posing in the snow. Especially not at there was this big fat man, dressed for a Best In Red event, who kept sneaking about, pretending he had some sort of business to attend to right there. As if I wasn't troubled enough already, worrying about catching a crab or a cold.

However, I did what Eddiethor asked from me, and he was happy with it. There was another compliment, omg, I could hardly sleep that night, even though the angel did her best to tuck me in. For the next issue, Eddiethor said, we should forget about the glamoer theme planned, no one wants glamoer any more, and instead go for something more exotic. That's what he said.

Eddiethor: "yeah, xotic. not sweetish only, u know. but wild. xotic. xtra magic, u know."

I really didn't know. But I didn't ask. Instead I said oki.

My first thought was white beaches and a nice tan. That's exotic. But the wild part, well, how wild can you go on a beach, eh? And magic? So I'll do some thinking and planning, because there is plenty of time until Janueary, he says. I want to get things right from the very start next time.

I had this one idea. Sort of exotic? Magic enough?

Damn

Winter

Yesss! Eddiethor liked my winter theme idea and decided to go for it, and save the glamoer for Janueary! He even called me clever for coming up with it. Clever. Clever! No one ever did that before. I kissed him then and there. Or rather tried to, but he declined the invitation from my HUD. I think maybe he's from News Eland.

Now, he didn't fancy my actual snapshot very much, but said it has to be improved. And done all over again. Only better. That's fine with me. I don't care after such a compliment. I think that was my first compliment ever. Apart from the mmmmm's, which aren't really compliments buth rather pavlovan sound reactions meaning "you don't have male shape". I think it would also do as a reaction to the actual pavlova. I'm not quite sure. I know the taste of tea, hambugger and ice cream, but I've never tried anything with meringue in it.

Now Eddiethor is gonna IM instructions to me for my winter theme cover cat snapshotting. I'm so excited, it's gonna be so much fun! I really can't wait.

Tiger

Eddiethor: "A RABBIT? what a [beep] [beep] are u! u don't think our listeners can tell a hot cat from a [beep] rabbit?"

He then told me what was expected from me, unless I wasn't interested in being the glamoer issue cover cat any more. Oh, I was interested, and from the very bottom of my heart, which I told him, but added that such things that he was mentioning wasn't really, really me, to be frank, and maybe there were other ways? There is a pair of tiger ears in my inventory, and I wouldn't mind at all wearing those together with, say, a nice jacket and maybe a pair of jeans. I've got a fine pair of shades, too. I'd very much prefer that to taking most of my clothes off for others to see, as public exposure of myself and whatever skin I'm wearing isn't really my piece of cake, I said.

Eddiethor: "and when u were a strip dancer in that girl-girl club, i guess u did it keeping ur clothes on?"

I gulped. I had no idea that he had listened to the CV I had IM'ed him at some point in the past.

So he urged me to get him his snapshots, done his way, and wasn't impressed at all when I pleaded for mercy, when I showed him my best jackets, or when I complained that I didn't have any place to go for the kind of snapshotting that he was asking from me, because I couldn't do it in public, could I?

Eddiethor: "how old r u, really?"

Serval: "a million"

Eddiethor: "no, ur not. ur... [long pause] ... [suspense] ...ur 928 days old, and u haven't got a proper home yet, or a proper job 2 pay 4 it? r u just lazy, or r u actually incapable?"

Serval: "/me blushes"

Eddiethor: "no, ur a [beep] disgrace"

Serval: "facepaws"

Eddiethor: "that's all u can say? facepaws? kitty, you need a good hiding"

Serval: "buttpaws"

Eddiethor: "again, pls?"

I left in a hurry, and set to work. I decided to A) stick to my tiger, jeans and leather jacket idea, despite Eddiethors slight reluctance, and to B) introduce a winter theme (quite appropriate for a December issue, eh) hoping for this to make him happy enough to accept A). And for that playful sexy touch he seems so keen on including, well, just look at what's attached to my lil tiger tail... This one's gonna do the trick.

Typo

Omg. He yelled "NI!" at me. Then yelled again, "NO!!!", correcting the typo. Why is it called typo, btw? The only such thing that I'm aware of is typo negative, which is played now and again by some DJ's. Judging from Eddiethors general look and body language, he certainly was negative at that point. So the "NI!" may have been not only appropriate to him, but also intentional.

He, however, obviously didn't like my James Pond kind of glamoer style, so I once again bolted, TP'ing to a safe haven. The others kindly suggested I should try without the sheep and go for bunnies instead. So oki, here goes. I got myself a bunny, and have now IM'ed the snapshot to Eddiethor. I'm hoping for a typo positive in response this time. Otherwise, what more can I do apart from digging into my inventory for launcheree and head for the appearance menu?

Classy

He didn't like the meadows. I'm speaking of Eddiethor, oc. He didn't like it at all, but just looked at me, shook his head, looked even more, and muttered "discon"... By then, I was already out of there.

When speaking to the others about the glamoer, they had two suggestions on what kind of snapshotting Eddiethor is expecting.

The first one is the classy one that makes minds stray to dreams of city night lights, caseanoes, cocktail glasses, silky evening gowns, heaps of treasure to be spent, and nice and expensive necklaces, like pearly or golden ones.

The other one is more or less the kind I already found myself, where launcheree and updone hairdoes are accessories to expensive skins, really really expensive ones that deserve to be displayed in quantities and from many different angles. "You've got any such pics?" they asked and, if so, offered to help me evaluate them, to see if they were nice enough for bubblishing.

I decided to go for the former type of glam, at least for starters. The James Pond kind. Night lights. Me. A huge and glowing golden inflatable sheep. Yes, wtg, Serval!

Pastoral

Following what I last spoke into my diary, some IM's I have received suggest ways to fulfil the requisites for glamoer snapshots. Thank you. However, I'm not quite sure where this diary is actually kept, whether it's in a PG sim or not. Because if it is, I can't do most of those things suggested. It's a shame that such creativeness should come to nothing. But I have learnt by now not to upset sim owners, as they have the power to eject, no no no no. I liked that idea that included the bunny ears, though, that would have been a good one. And a glamoerus one, too, of course. I remember Fishie wearing bunny ears once, and she looked eves so cute.

Instead I decided to go for a romantic pastoral PG theme. I liked the idea of doing so, not least as those kiwi guys from News Eland haven't been too pleased with what I said about them in a previous diary speech, and this shot might put things straight again. Oh, I don't expect the kiwi fruits to go straight, not from a snapshot of me (especially as I didn't do any 86's or 89'ers), but it may remind them of home, I hope, and make them less homesick. Which isn't a bad thing in these days when everybody seems to be looking forward to going home for Chris Must. Which I don't think the kiwis will do, because there is nothing left there any more except for hobbits, and you can see those in movies and save yourself the jet lag. I have learnt by now that "lag" is another word for invisible slime, which is an awfully annoying thing, and experiencing it jet force can be nothing short of horrible.

Then, is this new theme glamoer? Well, I myself can actually see (or at least trace a faint hint of, which should be good enough) a kind of romantic glamoer in there. The richness of the lush grassland. The golden sunlight. The fat inflatable sheep. It's all there. A whisper of wealth. A subtle promise of carnal gratification. I'm sure this snapshot is gonna do.

Glamoer

Cmon, it's not fair! I spent such an awful lot of time snapshotting for the new issue, and then this eddiethor avi told me to do it all over again. And better. Much better. Fuck me if it doesn't turn out better next time. And he said I use that same pose all the time and it's so Noctober. And he said unless I do a better job he'll have me discontinued (he listens to my diary, that old bugger, and knows which buttons to press) and find someone else for the cover cat snapshoot.

Oki, so what do I do now? Snap a better shot, oc, but how? How am I to know?

My original snapshot was this one, but eddiethor didn't like it.



The December issue is gonna be all glamoer, he said, and I thought this one was gonna be perfect for it. Oil! That's wealth, shiny bodies and huge cigars. Am I supposed to put a cigar in there? It's not very healthy smoking that close to combustibles. I guess that's why they stick those little sturgeon-jennyral warning speeches onto the packets.

I looked around the world for "glamoer pitchas" for inspiration, and I found them showing both avis and humans. (No furries, though.) But I dunno. Can I really use such in my diary? Omg, the horrid little man would be here in no time, tossing cigars into all the barrels:

Horrid man: "86. Upsizing bust!"

Horrid man: "87. Wearing more launcheree than clothes!"

Horrid man: "88. Wearing more skin than launcheree!"

Horrid man: "89. Upsizing bust even more!"

Horrid man: "90. Most probably using bouncy settings!"

No, I'm not sure glamoer snappshotting is the thing for me.