Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Damn!

I'm gonna say one thing in words I rarely use. Damn. Crap. Bugger. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I suppose the others have a holiday or whatnot, and took themselves enough time to listen to a lot of my diary. And then told me I'm all wrong about Mia. They say I made her up. She never existed, apart from in my head. So she's not in First Life. They claim to be there themselves, yes, they do. But Mia has never been, they say. Because she has never been.

I know. Yes I know, I admit, I bloody confess. I did make her up once. I needed her at that time. But then she turned real!

They say that's nonsense.

And I say, if it's nonsense, how come Mia can describe First Life and what happens there so precisely? It's not me doing that, how could I, I know nothing about First Life as I have never been there.

So they say Mia's descriptions aren't that precise at all, and what's correct is probably stuff I've picked up listening to others. And then they correct themselves, lolling, saying well done, Serval, I almost got them there. And then they say I know about First Life because I'm there myself.

For once I feel I'm not the most stupid one here. They can't tell the difference? I walk here in Second Life, fly a lil, change my hair, and they watch me and think it's in First?

Assume that they are in First Life, after all, and maybe they see Mia doing those things. Maybe their world is a paralil uniworse, where Mia does exactly the same things as me, and they see her doing it while IMing me? That would explain things. But Mia doesn't do the same things. We do quite different things. I hang, dance and shop, while she goes to work, decorates a flat and eats cows.

Some time ago I concluded that Mia and I are one. I still think we are. Different parts of the same. But the others say she never was. I thought I had it all figured out, but I'm not so sure any more. That's why I said those bad words before. Damn, crap etc. Damn!

I want to understand who I am.