it took her a minute to overcome the first surprise. after that her mouth closed and she sort of rearranged herself into one of her usual ao stands. only her eyes showed that something was wrong. an intense gaze. eyes trying to focus hard, harder, and even harder. a quick, furtive glance around, as if to look for some sort of aid. a bead of perspiration showing on her forehead. a frustrated snort. then, with a slight grimace, she reluctantly lifted both hands in front of herself, waist-height, and began tapping the air with her fingers. followed by another snort when nothing happened.
i told her to use speach instead.
----- ♥ -----
Speach? So everyone in First Life automatically had speach? I though that was quite neat. And I was just about to try it when this sudden, horrifying screech made me flinch. The one in front of me got startled, too, but quickly composed herself:
"u can't just make sound like that", she said. "u have 2 make the words 2"
I tried:
"R U A HUMAN?"
Then, after adjusting the volume level:
"r u a human?"
The human nodded.
"r u my angel 2?"
She nodded again, and said:
"welcome, serval. come on in"
"oki"
She presented herself. She told me she had brought me to show me First Life, just for one day, to unveil the mysteries, to put my mind at ease. Now, I'm not that stupid and had already realized that much by myself, because I do listen to my diary and had oc heard her speaking into it again. I got a bit annoyed when doing so, because it's my private diary and I don't really like her speaking there more than I liked Mia doing so. Not that I had really believed that this E angel should bring me, not after the ejection thing that turned out pure humbug and all other sorts of things. I've heard oh so much about First Life, but seen absolutely nothing of it. So I had expected this to be yet another false alarm.
She reached her hand out towards me:
"so here it starts. ur experience. touch me"
----- ♥ -----
serval touched my hand lightly, with one finger extended. then she poked, then squeezed a little. smiling she touched my arm. my hair. my chin. my mouth. my... I had to quickly move away from the finger closing in on my eye.
"you can't touch the eyes. it hurts."
"oh? what's that?"
"it's like... it feels like when you walked into the door when you came."
"oh. yeah, that didn't feel any good."
she continued, touching my cheek. my neck. my boobs.
"you know of the appearance menu?" she said.
i then let her spend some time investigating the world, or rather my flat. nothing in there seemed to surprise her, or impress her much. not until i gave her a cup of tea, which was a. hot and b. fluid. it wasn't a pretty sight seeing her drink for the first time ever. which made me wonder, and worry slightly, about another first time ever, bound to come some time after the drinking.
to get my thoughts off that i took her to see my computer, started it and logged on. she quickly recognized her home world. i showed her an alt avi of mine and made it move, fly, jump and speak.
"oh my god", she said. "you DO control him." then she looked at me:
"does that mean i was controlled too, really?"
"yes."
"oh my god. who did?
"i did."
"oh... then what things did you control?"
"everything you did so far."
"everything?"
"yes."
"even when..."
"even."
"oh my god." she sipped her tea. yes, she was a quick learner:
"you still control me? like now?"
"i don't know", i said and stood up. i walked to the other end of the room and told her to come.
"oki", serval replied. and then she got the clue and stopped, like in mid-step:
"no. i won't."
"then take your shirt and pants off."
"no", she said and smiled.
instead she sat down by the computer. her typing skills were excellent. the avatar jumped, walked, flew and ran across the screen. it took all of its clothes off and then continued walking. /me is very stupid, she typed, chuckling.
"i control it", she said. "avis can control avis, too!"
"i'm not so sure", i said, watching her playing.
"why? come on, don't be daft, can't you see what i'm doing?"
"to put it like this. i'm not sure you're an avatar right now."
"course i am."
"i think you're a human."
that kind of stopped her.
"i don't think you can be an avatar here", i explained. "not in first life. so then you're a human, too. today you are."
"oh my god", serval said.
now, was she a human? was she really like me? did she have all the bits and pieces? did she have a heart inside there? did she even breathe. she should, logically, or how did she make the sounds when speaking?
"are you gonna go mmmm now?" she asked.
"pardon?"
"they usually do. they stare at my boobs like that, and then they go mmmmm hun."
----- ♥ -----
The angel spoke of many things that were all new to me. While going down the stairs, because we were gonna go for brickfirst, she told me not to walk into the street in front of cars. Not to walk trough objects such as signboards on the sidewalk, lamp posts, dogs et cetera. She told me not to jump or fall from high places. Not to push stakes, knives, swords or any other objects through my body becuase it would hurt a lot and might even discontinue me. Omg, it wasn't hard telling she was a human, considering all those rules.
I liked the street. There were so many avis there, no, so many humans. And after learning that they never pushed and never bumped into you, I enjoyed it even more. The place was crowded like no sim in SL ever, and still there was no slime. There were shops and shops, and a lot of noise and cars moving along the street all the time. But I learnt that I could control them by touching a poseball in the street corner, which made them stop so that we could cross to the other side. Oh, I loved the noise. It was like in the clubs, lots of sound all the time. Not that eary emptiness of oh so many sims at home.
She took me to a place to eat a hambugger. It was meat in it, meaning a dead animal, so she couldn't have one herself, but she wanted me to try.
"What does it taste?" she asked.
I had no idea, of course. I had tried tea, which tasted like, well, what's the point of ever drinking it again, but I had never eaten anything before.
"Like an ass?" I suggested.
The angel just looked at me, saying nothing. There was a kind of lolling sound from next table, where a bunch of small-sized humans sat with a big one, looking at us.
"Oki... like a zebra, then? Or a cow? Come on, how am I to know!"
----- ♥ -----
watching serval eat was another one of those first evers you'd rather leave to someone else to share. the kids next table stared with eyes large as saucers, and their mum, slightly disgusted but seeing all four or five of them absolutely still and quiet for the first time that day, probably considered whether she could learn to do that, too.
after taking serval to the washroom – i began realizing we were going to do that a lot – i took her out into the street again and down the subway, explaining that this was the first life version of tp. she asked if we could go to brussels, but didn't really get my explanation of why not until i said it was just a local tp within this sim.
we went to a lot of places that day. she accepted that she couldn't fly ("humans just can't", i told her / "what? oh my god. why not?" / "too bad, eh" / "what about you, then?" / "i can't either" / "but you're an angel" / "i can't" / "mia told me angels can" / "no, i can't" / "where are your wings, by the way?" / "i don't have any" / "mia said..." / "i don't have them" / "you lost them, eh?" / "i never had any" / "come on, you lost them" / "no" / "you're a fallen angel, aren't you, so you lost your wings" / "serval..." / "you're not a real angel after all, are you?" / "well, no" / "oki with me. don't make such a fuzz about it, i don't want to fly"), and instead got to walk a lot, and to tp all over the city. she had that ice cream, and a visit to the washroom, and went to the museum with that huge ship that sunk, almost threw up in a funfair, looked inside a church, crossed between the city islands in a boat, walked a park and up onto the rooftops, ogled the objects in a large shopping mall, and of course went to the zoo, where she recognized the animals from virtuous africa. she wasn't doing bad at all, seemingly at ease in the city and accepting most things at face value. she had probably seen a lot stranger things in second life. what came as a surprise to her, though, was fatigue. she collapsed in the sofa back in my place.
----- ♥ -----
So there was slime in First Life, after all. It was a strange kind of, but clearly the same thing. Oh, not alltogether. The speach came quickly even when the moving was slimed, and it seemed to be the same with Emmi the angel. She gave me more tea, sat down next to me and said that she was thinking of us going to a club to dance that night, after we had had a rest. I asked her what kind of music there was here in First Life, and she said it was exactly the same as in SL. Which was good enough to me. I had sort of half expected there to be some rule against music, or against dancing. On the other hand, I had already seen that this world had quite a bit of extras compared to where I came from. Good extras. There were so many guys and girls around, so much happening everywhere all the time. Not to mention the sounds, the feeling when touching things, and smelling things in your nose. The angel even got something with a nice smell in a shop after lunch and touched it onto me under my arms, saying, sorry, she had forgotten about that. And now she said there was gonna be more extras tonight in the club she had in mind, for sure.
"just no devils singing, pls", I told her.
"no devils, i promise"
----- ♥ -----
i sent her off into my bedroom to lay down to rest for a while, but she soon returned, standing by the sofa with a certain object in her hand, saying she found it in my room. i took it from her:
"you little spy."
"what's the problem? i've got one, too. in my inventory. it makes a sound and you put it between your legs."
"well, that's the thing."
"i've never really seen the point."
"this one is different, i can tell you."
"why?"
"trust me. it's different."
"oki." she gazed at it. "can i try?"
i looked at her, then gave it back:
"just do it in the bedroom. i don't want to watch."
"oki", she replied and left.
i heard her voice through the door saying "surprise me", followed by a steady buzz. from what i heard, and heard continuously from then on, it did surprise her. a lot. and she was obviously not disappointed. at all. i made myself another cup of tea and sat down to drink it. i had another cup. then serval's head poked out from the bedroom, complaining that the buzzing had stopped.
"the batteries probably went low", i said, and she awwwed until i brought her new and high ones.
her head disappeared behind the door again. after half an hour more i pulled her out of there, and made her go the bathroom to wash her hands once more. she returned into the living room, staggering on unsteady legs, and said:
"please don't make me go back."
"well, are your hands clean?"
"i mean home. i don't want to go back there."
----- ♥ -----
I liked getting ready for the club. First I had an experience with water and little bubbles all over my body in the bathroom, and then searched the angel's inventory for what to wear, before she sat me down to make me up. She said humans can't just wear another skin, but have to do the painting themselves, and told me not to rub my eyes after she had finished.
"i know", I said. "because it hurts"
"no, because u don't wanna look like a rackoon"
"why not? what's a rackoon?"
"they have black colour smeared all around their eyes and over half of their face"
"oh, i'd like that!" I exclaimed. "please, emmi, i want rackoon eyes!"
----- ♥ -----
serval abandoned the idea of heels after trying them on, or rather after trying to use them. and she didn't really need them. mia had referred to her as "little incarnation", but serval was close to 15 cm, or 5 inches or so, taller than me, and would do fine in her black converse. she wasn't very dressy anyhow. not really trashy, but not dressy. not that it mattered what she wore, becuse her black hole eyes were sure to catch enough attention. the doorman at the club probably wasn't very convinced he did the right thing letting her in. my, hadn't i dreamt of wearing such eyes, just once. still i wasn't brave enough to double her that night.
i bought us drinks from the bar. one normal one for me, and one watered-down for serval. there had been a lot of mess that day, first evers turning freak shows, and escaping the bar version would be a good thing.
she picked an ice cube out of her mouth, looked at it and held it in her hand:
"that's cool. it almost hurts and feels good at the same time."
she studied it, holding it between her fingers. then she put her other hand into the glass, shovelling up all the cubes, and said she'd be right back. she walked away in the direction of the ladies room, to return five minutes later:
"yeah, feels really good too."
----- ♥ -----
There was no slime! The dance floor was crowded and still there was none of the invisible slime. Oki, there was no dressing event, but that was fine because we hadn't brought her inventory anyhow. And apart from that, omg. Omfg. The dancing. There were no dance balls, which meant I could dance just as I liked, and I think everyone else did, too. A million humans were dancing, all differently. And the music was so loud I first thought it was some mmmmm guy standing behind me pretending to dance but really touching me on the sly.
The angel danced, too. She said she didn't really enjoy it, but joined me after a while. We had another drink (which didn't make me fall, or have sex with dogs) and then danced even more.
In the washroom, where I went because of that drinking fluid thing the angel had told me about and which I already had tried back in her place, I saw myself in the visitor board above the handwasher. I looked all shiny, as if I was wearing body oil even in my face, and had a few slight emo tearmarks, although I hadn't cried. No way I'd cry in a place like that. When I spoke to the angel about it, before returning onto the dance floor, she said she was glad she had made me put on more deidreant.
Eventually the event ended, and when we walked back to her place I wondered if I would ever be able to fully enjoy a dance club in SL again.
----- ♥ -----
before sending serval to bed that night i told her how i had created her. i told her how humans normally are created. i told her about death. she said she knew about that one: the one million and eighty days. maybe third life. if there was one.
"there is no third life, i think", i said. "there is first life and second life. and you know, you have descended one number, from second to first. you're going the opposite direction."
"and what about the zeroeth life?"
i smiled at her:
"yeah, some humans believe there is one of those, too."
"do you?"
"i don't know. maybe there is. maybe not."
"what do you really, really think?"
"i don't know. i just know i'm right here right now."
"me too. and i love it."
i sat looking at her all night. she was sleeping. she was dreaming, for the first time. and by the morning she'd be gone, gone home, leaving nothing but my memories of her and a stained pillow.
it was a hard thing, watching her, letting her go. i created her. i gave her life, maybe the only kind i'd be able to give. but she had to go back, hadn't she.
i sat there watching her. i didn't sleep, of course, how could i. i sat watching until she had gone.
